All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
