Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
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If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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