Do vagina's smell?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
