I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
