your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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