I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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