the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
