"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
