just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
