shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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