Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
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the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
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i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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