JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
