woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
