It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
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that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
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I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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