Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
