god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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