on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
