Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
