Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
