Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
