it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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