stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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