I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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