If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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