I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
