no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
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Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
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I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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