You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
