An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
