...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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