I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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