Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize