i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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