this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
