1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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