I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Welp...herpes.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
