i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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