so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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