i permit you to call me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize