Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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