I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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