do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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