My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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