she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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