Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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