yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
