I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
