Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
it's great music for shaving your balls
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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