just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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