I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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