The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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