a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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