I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
