Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
