My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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