I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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