i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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