the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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