Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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