Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Oh god it's open bar.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
