The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
