yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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