Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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