I think my vagina is haunted
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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