did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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