Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize