**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You ruined the universe
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
